Editor's Note I hoped to erase it from my brain By Darcy L. Fargo

October 30, 2019

When it happened, I said I would erase this incident from my brain and never give it an additional thought, but the memory surfaced as I read through the Respect Life articles for this week’s edition.

It was January of 2016 (I didn’t remember that; I had to search my social media history to jog my memory). I made the mistake of commenting on a social media post a friend shared about people “living off the system.”
I noted that many people need assistance. I wrote that my son is on the autism spectrum, and he receives services funded by “the system” and may need assistance his whole life. I wrote that I understand there are abuses, but there are also people who need help through no fault of their own.

Then, it happened. An individual I don’t know, an associate of the person who made the original post, suggested I should’ve aborted my son when I learned he had a disability to save taxpayers from having to foot the bill for his services.

I pointed out to this individual that my son was diagnosed at age 2.

He doubled down on his cruelty and suggested I should’ve killed my toddler, again in the interest of “preventing the rest of us from having to pay for him for life.”

While the interaction made me cry and rage, I concluded the interaction with a promise to pray for the commenter. The friend who made the original post soon deleted the entire conversation to prevent the commenter from having further opportunity to be cruel.

While I hope he was just being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk – an internet troll, as they say, posting just to try to elicit negative responses from others, I felt bad for that guy. If he was posting honestly, he doesn’t understand the value of life. He doesn’t understand that while we have our struggles dealing with a disability, we have a wonderful, joyful and hysterical son, and we have a life I wouldn’t trade for anything. He doesn’t understand that even if I could go back in time with the knowledge I have now, I would choose to have my son – disability and all – every single time.

Even on the bad days, when my son is struggling in school or with his sensory issues, there are graces and there is profound love. Those are things I’ll never hope to erase from my brain.